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They opened the pack and threw one cigarette over the side. That made the lifeboat a cigarette lighter.School was having show & tell. Johnny came up to the blackboard, picked up the chalk, and drew two dots. He put the chalk down in the tray. He turned to face the class, but he didn’t say anything for a minute.Teacher: “Johnny, what are you telling us?”Johnny: “You told us that these are periods, didn’t you?”Teacher: “Yes.”Johnny: “Well, my big sister, Katie, has missed two of them, and everybody at home is mad.”Mary, Margaret, and Maude all taught Sunday School in the same church. They were riding together in the same car to a Sunday School Conference when a truck crashed into the car. They all died, and all arrived together at the pearly gate.“Taught Sunday School, eh?” Saint Peter said. “That gets you in, if you taught the truth.”“Who was the first woman?” Pete asked Mary.“That’s an easy question,” Mary said. “The first woman was named Eve.”A bell pealed; a light flashed. The gate. .. the quickest way ... to take the focus off the information is to put it on the source of the information. Data breaches are pretty common these days but the public is still wary of them. It’s the old ‘shoot the messenger’ routine. You have to remember, the labels and the streaming services are just playing for time. If they can keep a lid on things until four o’clock your time, they’ll be happy as hell.”“The weekend cycle Travis keeps telling me about,” Liz said.“Exactly,” Adele continued. “The viewing public has other things to occupy their interest on the weekends. That’s why the federal government always issues bad news at 4 p.m. on a Friday. If unemployment drops, it comes out Tuesday so they get the whole week to crow about it. If it increases, it comes out Friday so nobody notices. They handle interest rate hikes and dismissals of key personnel the same way. If the rates are lowering or if the person is leaving to become a dean at a law school, it’s early. If the rates are.
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